Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
