got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Randomize
