This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
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