I feel like abortions should bother me more
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
