I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
As shirtless as possible
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
