he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
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I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
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I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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