i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
