Plan B is the new Plan A
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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