If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize