I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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