I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
