her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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