i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
