so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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