In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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