Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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