I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
hell yes lets make some ravioli
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
