oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
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