I heard we made out
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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