A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
