Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
