A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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