What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
