It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Girls should come with a carfax report
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
