You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
