im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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