I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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