Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Congratulations! We have a period
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