the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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