these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
