oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I've blown a few things in my day
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
