So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
