Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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