How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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