I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
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