life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Shame - the story of my life.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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