I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Randomize
