uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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