bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
