My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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