Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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