we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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