I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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