Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize