so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize