I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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