The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize