Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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