White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
