ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
we're making bets on your personal life
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
