There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
