That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
