Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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