Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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