this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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