100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
