If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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